Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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