Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
