Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize