We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
