You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
