it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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