my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
