Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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