I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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