he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is Oprah even human
The power of my boobs compel you
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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