Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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