...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
