3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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