Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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