so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize