Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
