Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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