umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
