I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
