end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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