Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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