shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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