I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
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He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
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Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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