my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
