I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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