I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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