i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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