Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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