fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
