I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
