did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
