i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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