remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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