why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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