the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
