That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
