he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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