You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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