he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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