babies were throwing up all over the place
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
