I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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