they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
