I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
