I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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