Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
