my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Panties = found
Randomize
