Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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