Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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