wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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