I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
