I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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