Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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