im about as happy as oj after his trial
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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