So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize