how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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